I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
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Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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