So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
