My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
And then he peed in my hair
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