um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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