Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
