Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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