At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
