I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
