I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
