I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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