We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
