Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
