just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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