the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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