this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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