I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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