and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
