my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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