Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
farters have to be the big spoon...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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