i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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