Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm like, not good at living.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
