I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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