bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
