I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
