Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work

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  (310 ): I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work http://tfl.nu/s1zl
  Replies (21) Good night (779) Bad night (3010)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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  (541): I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that. http://tfl.nu/itf1
  Replies (29) Good night (2486) Bad night (664)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses

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  (303): I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/qudw
  Replies (3) Good night (2796) Bad night (553)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.

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  (847): so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all. http://tfl.nu/abug
  Replies (15) Good night (1274) Bad night (4289)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it

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  (949): i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it http://tfl.nu/yzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (3526)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"

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  (623): You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!" http://tfl.nu/z3ws
  Replies (10) Good night (4162) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.

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  (312): Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees. http://tfl.nu/fk9m
  Replies (5) Good night (2550) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god

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  (845): you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god http://tfl.nu/778n
  Replies (10) Good night (2787) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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  (860): Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now. http://tfl.nu/0rnz
  Replies (4) Good night (2905) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.

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  (615): i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado. http://tfl.nu/rfln
  Replies (11) Good night (1742) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.

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  (805): What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc. http://tfl.nu/01sm
  Replies (29) Good night (3576) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god

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  (314): Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god http://tfl.nu/tl6y
  Replies (12) Good night (1224) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (+47): View more from Norway

  You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me

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  (+47): You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me http://tfl.nu/d4vv
  Replies (5) Good night (1265) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.

  (415): View more from California

  She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.

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  (415): So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers. (415): She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better. http://tfl.nu/azok
  Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?

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  (503): I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again? http://tfl.nu/nuy1
  Replies (2) Good night (192) Bad night (447)

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