Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.