Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

True but thats because hes a fetus.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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(760): View more from California

so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?

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(540): View more from Virginia

That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....

(1-540): View more from Virginia

It was the best sex i've ever had.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know where my bra went.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

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(845): View more from New York

When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later

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