My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
