She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail