Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.

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(920): good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs. http://tfl.nu/xjrr

Replies (37) Good night (3736) Bad night (1211)
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(727): View more from Florida

If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.

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(727): If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends. http://tfl.nu/hu0f

Replies (25) Good night (579) Bad night (3497)
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(714): View more from California

you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.

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(714): you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before. http://tfl.nu/gj1j

Replies (15) Good night (1032) Bad night (3459)
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(804): View more from Virginia

dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck

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(804): dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck http://tfl.nu/zlj8

Replies (46) Good night (1315) Bad night (7396)
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(818): View more from California

We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.

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(818): We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings. http://tfl.nu/9pm8

Replies (26) Good night (5863) Bad night (1313)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.

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(913): I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM. http://tfl.nu/ou48

Replies (33) Good night (1699) Bad night (5219)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.

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(202): Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile. http://tfl.nu/r7sn

Replies (6) Good night (1206) Bad night (3371)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks

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(617): cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks http://tfl.nu/gqzi

Replies (11) Good night (3507) Bad night (882)
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(801): View more from Utah

"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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(801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq

Replies (15) Good night (938) Bad night (2532)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."

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(412): I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from." http://tfl.nu/4vvg

Replies (6) Good night (1867) Bad night (642)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn

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(615): May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn http://tfl.nu/hucd

Replies (4) Good night (941) Bad night (459)
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(253): View more from Washington

it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.

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(253): it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting. http://tfl.nu/k4ds

Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (483)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.

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(617): Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/hwpt

Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (480)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds

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(609): I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds http://tfl.nu/e8hx

Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (350)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.

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(248): I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today. http://tfl.nu/eqo1

Replies (1) Good night (928) Bad night (231)

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