So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...