Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.

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(563): that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark. http://tfl.nu/i86g

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(805): View more from California

I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?

(1-805): View more from California

Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit

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(805): I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!? (1-805): Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit http://tfl.nu/hqm2

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

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(715): STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up http://tfl.nu/m2d3

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(314): View more from Missouri

In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

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(314): In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major http://tfl.nu/y5g5

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(303): View more from Colorado

Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.

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(303): Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call. http://tfl.nu/oew3

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.

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(859): Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss. http://tfl.nu/wyge

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(989): View more from Michigan

Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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(989): Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics? http://tfl.nu/kwmb

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(970): View more from Colorado

You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.

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(970): You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again. http://tfl.nu/ptr6

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is

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(703): I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is http://tfl.nu/znts

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(310): View more from California

The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.

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(310): The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses. http://tfl.nu/2i38

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(540): View more from Virginia

He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.

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(540): He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room. http://tfl.nu/7y89

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?

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(508): OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities? http://tfl.nu/uepx

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(815): View more from Illinois

Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

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(815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4

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(812): View more from Indiana

Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.

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(812): Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes. http://tfl.nu/kd9i

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over

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(610): first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over http://tfl.nu/fqcy

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