Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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