If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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