Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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