And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
