Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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