you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
