I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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