so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize