I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
