So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
