guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Are my feet made of real feet?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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