we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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