All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
