Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
