Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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