I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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