I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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