Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You're like the curious george of whores
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
