NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
