Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
