Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
