Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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