Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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