erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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