i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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