How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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