check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize