so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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