we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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