I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
