I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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