we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
