It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
