this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
there's paper in my vomit.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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