So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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