is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i believe in u and ur pee
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
